Uncertainty
by sophiesophiesophiee
Summary: They were the only certain thing in a world of uncertainty.


**A/N - a drabble-esque oneshot from me, for Kouw. It's not what I originally intended it to be, and if I'm honest, I'm not one hundred percent happy with it, but it's the best I can do. **

**Disclaimer - nothing is mine. Woe.**

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She had forgotten how it felt to be held; to have someone hold her to them, murmuring soothing words in her ear. It had been too long since that had happened, and Elsie Hughes was not sure how to deal with it. She was standing in Charles Carson's pantry, wrapped in his arms. And the reason? Ethel.

She had just found Downton's newest maid in a state of undress with one of the soldiers sent to convalesce at the house. Elsie was angry, yes, but a larger part of her was rather sad. Sad, because she had never experienced the intimacy that was visible between the two of them. Sad, because she probably never would. And, essentially, sad, because she had given up any hope of having a family in order to serve a family who did not appreciate how much she did in order to hold the house together.

So she had gone to the only place she could think to go: Charles' pantry. She knew he would still be awake; she knew he would listen to her without judging her – he had sacrificed the same things that she had, after all. And so she had gone to him and poured her heart out, detailing to him how she felt she had missed her chance and that she feared she would die alone. And he had held her. Stiffly, uncomfortably at first, but both of them began to relax and she rested her head upon his chest, soothed by the rhythmic sound of his heart beating.

She looked up at him, the tears in her eyes slowly disappearing. It was then she realised; she would never find love. She could never find love, because no man would ever compare to Charles Carson. He was the touchstone to which any man would – and had – been measured against, ever since she first met him. She held his gaze for a moment, wondering whether or not it would be wise for her to say anything to him. In his eyes, she found nothing but adoration and in that moment, she knew that she could not hide any feelings from him even if she wanted to.

"Charles…" her voice was soft and wavered a little with the emotions she was trying to hold back. He shook his head and placed his index finger against her lips, effectively silencing her.

"You don't need to say anything, Elsie. I understand." And he did. He understood exactly what was behind her eyes, the meaning behind her voice. He placed a finger under her chin and tilted her head up slightly, lowering his lips slowly to hers. The two stood, entwined, for what seemed like a lifetime. It was everything she – and he – had ever wanted, and more besides. Slowly, the pair parted, nothing exchanged between them but a loving glance.

The evenings that followed continued in that fashion. Elsie would make sure the women were in bed and return to Charles' pantry, or to her sitting room, and the two would talk, and laugh, and kiss. They would discuss the day's events, the staff, and themselves. Their retirement was a subject that came up often, the two of them making plans for their lives – life – after leaving Downton Abbey. They hoped for a cottage, near or on the estate, where they would spend the winter of their lives looking after each other, respecting each other, loving each other. The affection between the two of them grew steadily over the following weeks, small gestures slowly creeping into their daily lives.

These gestures did not go unnoticed, both by the staff and the family upstairs. But, despite the fears that Charles and Elsie both had, the reaction was not negative at all. Lady Grantham began to give them both afternoons off together, ensuring that they had time to themselves away from the prying eyes and ears of the staff. Every time they came back, they both wore smiles that they had never worn before, and both looked more relaxed than ever. The time away clearly did them good.

And so, after seeing how happy the two were after returning from one such afternoon out, Lady Grantham decided that perhaps a little discussion between the three of them may be called for. During this discussion, she broached the subject of their relationship. It ended with the two of them being offered the cottage that they had dreamed of, not far from the house, allowing them to spend nights together without the fear of being caught or disturbed.

"Elsie?" Charles murmured, as he stepped over the threshold of their new, shared, home. "Will you marry me?" His words were simple and blunt, and for a moment, Elsie was taken aback. A smile began to creep across her face.

"What took you so long?" Her smile said it all.

Within a month, the two were married. Mr and Mrs Carson.

And that's how they were known from then on, Mr and Mrs Carson. The only certain thing in a world of uncertainty.


End file.
